Last night's impromptu Pajama Party was a blast, although I eventually fell asleep in my chair while the party went on around me.  Guess I just can't hold my Corona like I used to, lol. 

During the party, there was something said that sparked yet another memory of an embarassing moment in my past....way past, for that matter.  It happened about when I was very young and had been married about six months.  I contracted a virus that was going around and was sick as a dog (no pun intended, lol), throwing up, stomach cramps and the drizzling sh........well, you get the picture. 

Anyway, after a couple of days, I decided I should probably go see the doctor, so I called early in the morning to see if I could get an appointment.  "No", the receptionist said, "He's booked up for today".  Okay, so much for that, I'll just be miserable for another day!  So, I took a shower and got dressed, and was considering going back to bed when the phone rang.  It was the Dr's office receptionist and she told me they had had a cancellation and that if I would come right away, they could get me in. 

So....I grabbed my purse and went straight on to the doctor's office.  Sure enough, they got me right in and after relaying my symptoms to the nurse, she automatically assumed (see first three letters of that word) that I was pregnant!  Anyway, I wasn't in the mood for assumptions, especially since she was just the nurse, ya know?  So, then I sat there for half an hour for the doctor to come in and I was so sick that I considered just walking out and going home.  About that time, he finally came in, nurse in tow. 

Here we go again, what are my symptoms?  I tell him all of it and guess what?  He assumes the same thing and that really pisses me off.  Here I am, sick and needing to puke or poop or both, just wanting to go home and having to explain over and over that I'm not pregnant!!! 

Finally, he shifts gears and wants me to lie down on the table and unzip my jeans so he can mash around on my already sore belly, so I comply.  Doctor on one side, nurse on the other, they look down and he snickers very faintly.  I look at him and he looks like he'd like to really laugh, and so I look at nurse and she looks the same.  Hrmph!  What the hell do they think is so funny?  The moment passed, he finally told me what I already knew, that I had a virus, wrote me a prescription and I was free to go.  Finally!

So, I made a quick stop in the bathroom, then left to go by the drugstore, then back home where I could go back to bed. 

I was pissed off, sick as a horse and totally exhausted, so I went straight to the bedroom to get undressed and fall in the bed.  I was in the process of undressing when I happened to turn around and catch my reflection in the mirror and my face went from already pasty to white as a ghost, then red as a beet as I focused on my underwear.

There, in my reflection, revealed the source of the mysterious snicker from the doctor!  I was wearing a pair of black bikini panties that I had received as a gag gift at my lingerie shower.  There, right in front, in big bold embroidered red letters, were the words:  What you see is what you get!

It was a very long time before I went back to see that doctor. 

I received this once from someone that cared when I was going through a rough time and have kept it and read it periodically.  It helps to put relationships in perspective sometimes and I can look back and think of the people that have been in my life when I read these words:

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.  When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a Godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

 What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on."

   "When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your

turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.

 They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!

   But, only for a season."

   "LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you

 must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."

   Thank you for being a part of my life...Smile

Good morning, Streamers!  It's a cold, cold morning here on Schnauzer Lane and still, I have two Schnauzers on either side of me as I type pawing at my arms because they want to go outside and play.  Prissy is even to her barking stage, which means she is running out of patience with me.  I wish I was that eager to go out into this cold, but I'm personally not looking forward to it.  Especially since I discovered yesterday morning that my favorite jackets are both missing!  I keep telling myself they have to be in this house somewhere, but I'm beginning to wonder, since they are definitely not in any of the closets and I haven't worn them since last winter.  What's really bothering me, other than these two dogs that are trying to dig holes in both my arms, is that I did a major cleaning out a couple of months ago and donated a truckload of stuff.  I'm getting this sneaking suspicion that my two jackets got into that stuff somehow.  Oh well, there's always wally world, right?  I'll just kick myself all the way in the door and around to women's wear, kick myself to the cash register and kick myself back out to the truck with a new jacket that I probably won't like.  Life's a b**** sometimes, isn't it?  But it's FRIDAY!!!! 

My uncle called and left a message on the answering machine yesterday for me to call him as soon as I got home from work........oh boy, the dread set in and I waited a few minutes before I dialed him back.  Sure enough, same ole thing...."you girls better get down here and do something with your mother....she can't get around, says she can't walk....living on popcorn....now her pipes have frozen and busted....she had the city come out and turn the water off.....she has no water, no toilet.....when are you girls gonna come down here and do something......she's driving me crazy.....rants and raves all the time....can't please her.....she stays mad at me and I can't help her.....blah...blah...she won't come and stay with me, so she's over there in that house eating popcorn with no water....blah...blah...

Yes, Uncle Willie I know she's a pain and I know the time is coming that I will have to go down there and put her somewhere.  But as long as she has any choices left at all, she will fight me on doing anything that makes any sense.  She has a really bad habit of "biting the hand that feeds her" and making everybody's life miserable.  When that time comes, I will certainly be there to do what needs to be done, but until that time there's nothing I can do.  She will sit in that house as long as she thinks necessary to gleen as much sympathy as she can, finally give in and go somewhere, then berate me, you and everybody else she can think of because we allowed it to happen.  I not only have a full time job at my workplace, but I run the place.  I can't just drop everything and run down there to end up just wasting my time.  Been there, done that, many times.  I have a husband that doesn't trust her as far as he can throw her because he has heard all the horror stories that my sister and the rest of the family love to tell every chance they get.  He doesn't think I should be giving her the time of day.  I'm weary of the battle that she has raged as far back as I can remember and the battles she causes me even here at home.  She is and always has been the 'ultimate battle' of my life.  And she will be long after she's gone.  I live in this pertetual 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' dilemma that sometimes just gets overwhelming.  And her timing is perfect, as usual.  She manages to put a damper on every holiday, every year.  Thanks, Mom.

My grandparents on my Dad's side of the family both passed away within 3 months of each other, the latter being Grandaddy who died on Christmas Eve, 1980.  I miss them both so much sometimes that it makes me cry.  Then there are the times that I ponder all the good times I had spending time with them during the summer months and a slow smile spreads across my face......aw, such fond memories I have and how blessed I am to have those memories. 

They were opposites that balanced one another out perfectly.  Grandmother was a small woman, always there for everybody, never met a stranger, energetic and bubbly.  She had a wonderful sense of humor that she passed down to my Dad, and I believe I managed to get my share of.  And she loved Grandaddy. 

Grandaddy, on the other hand was a friendly man, in a "very few words" kind of way.  He had a sense of humor, too but kept it well hidden.  He was a serious man that didn't say a lot, but you certainly listened when he spoke.  The usual "yeah" or "nope" that we commonly used to answer questions were not used when answering his questions.  It was "yes, sir" or "no, sir" or you were met with that "look"......the look that needed no words, that piercing look of brilliant blue eyes under dark eyebrows, which were raised in the silent message of, "what did you say"?  That "look" spoke volumes and was usually all that was needed to get the message.  If that look didn't get the attention sufficiently, he barked the few words that he felt to be enough, something like, "Break your leg to say sir?!"  ..........."No, Sir"  We mostly stayed out of his way and went about our play, but occasionally heard that gruff voice, say the same things at the appropriate moment, such as "Turn that light off before the mosquitoes start coming in!"

However, I seemed to be the only grandchild that could see that sense of humor that twinkled in his eye, even when the rest of his face was fixed in a definite frown.  I was the one that would call him Baggy Britches and Droopy Drawers and got away with it.  But even I knew there was a line you didn't cross, so I only went so far.  I didn't risk the "you've gone too far" glare which was definitely devoid of that "twinkle".  I never got a spanking from Grandaddy and don't remember my sister or any of my cousins getting one either.  But we all knew it was very possible, for Grandaddy was not the kind to be pushed very far, no sir.   

Grandaddy had worked very hard all his life and had been hurt pretty bad in a job related accident that I never did really know the details of.  But I knew he was in pain most of the time, not because he said so, but because my Dad told me.  He was still working back then to supplement the social security, and he worked as a butcher at a small grocery store a few blocks from home.  

Being an observant child, I just naturally noticed things.  And being a man of habit and of few words, Grandaddy was quite predictable. His routine was always the same, every day except Sunday.  I'll spare the details of his routine from sunup til sundown, but I could include them very easily.......because he was that predictable to me.  Which brings about my "uh oh" moment.......

Every day, Grandmother would cook lunch which would usually consist of a lot of warmed over leftovers and a couple of new items, but the table was always set with several bowls of various foods, plates, flatware and those big thick stem goblets full of cold, sweet iced tea.  Every day, we would hear Grandaddy pulling in the driveway, slamming the door of that old truck, coming in through the back door through the enclosed back porch, hanging up his hat and washing his hands.  Always the same timing, same routine.  By this time, Grandmother, sister and I were sitting down at the table waiting for Grandaddy to join us and "say the blessing", as we called it.  And every day, he would pull out his chair and during his slow descent to the chair, he would first let out a groan, then follow it with....."pshew....pshew....pshew".  This would all end at the same time his butt met the seat of the chair.  This was his "worked hard, very tired, so glad to sit down" ritual without words.  Then he would say the blessing and we would eat.  Every day....same routine. 

One particular day, I was observing this routine yet another time and for some reason, I just thought I would save him the trouble, I guess.  Who knows what I was thinking at the time.....I was probably 8 or 9 years old.  But anyway, the routine went as usual until he started to sit down.  This is where, before I even thought, I proceeded to do the "groan....pshew.....pshew.....pshew"  for him with the same precision and timing that he usually did....................

UH OH!!!!!

The room went totally silent as Grandaddy stopped abruptly in mid descent to his chair, looked at me sharply with that "look" and there was not a single twinkle to be seen.  Grandmother sat stock still while I suddenly swollowed my tongue, sank down in my chair and looked back at Grandaddy with eyes as big as saucers, I'm sure. 

Once again.......no words necessary.

After what seemed like an eon, which couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds, he looked back down at his plate and finished his descent to the chair.  I looked over at Grandmother and she was obviously stiffling a grin, Grandaddy wasn't saying a word, and sister started laughing.  Whew.....the moment passed and I was still alive, but only because looks can't kill.  We finished our meal just like any other day, except that I was on especially good behavior.  Now, this story is always told at family reunions and I'm kinda known as the grandkid that miraculously survived a major "UH OH" moment.

Oh, the memories......

God, I miss them and can't wait to see them again. 

Happy Birthday, JimB!  Now, would somebody please take him some toilet paper?  I think he's out of kleenex.  And yes, I'm still around.  Just been busy being a wrestler!  I've just been wrestlin dogs with baths and such, wrestlin laundry, wrestlin deadlines at the office and wrestlin with whether or not I want to be on T.V.  I've been sporatically trying to keep up with what's goin on here at the stream and have managed to get in a few comments here and there.  I actually did some reading and commenting while at the office today, but every time I really got into it, somebody would come trapesin into my office.  Rude, huh?  Now, I'm waiting for the snow to start, hoping I'll get an "inclement weather" day off tomorrow so that I can wrestle a few more things around the house, such as the vacuum cleaner, dust cloth, and more laundry.  Two things that never seem to stop around here are the washer/dryer and the dishwasher!  I just knew when I got two kids and three stepkids raised and on their own that I wouldn't have to do it all the time any more, so what happened?!  Maybe I'm just slower than I used to be, ya suppose?  lol 

I made a decision today to NOT go ahead with the "Ultimate Blunders" thing.  Seems the only time I got excited about it was when somebody else was excited about it.  I learned a long time ago to follow my instincts and I just couldn't get a good feeling about it.  So, I sent Simon an email today because I didn't want him to waste any more of his time on getting my stories and me on T.V.  I feel better now.  Back to being happy with my life as it is.  I'm sure lots of people would give their right arm to have their face on T.V., but Puppy just ain't one of em.  Thank you all for your support in the matter, even tho I didn't go with what most of you said.  It was nice to have such a wonderful cheering section, for sure.  At last conversation, the plan was for my sister and I to fly to California for all this in January, which sounded kinda exciting, but not exciting enough.  lol  I can have more fun with Handsome Husband in Vegas or somewhere. 

I wanted Stalker to know that it took me a while to find a picture of my legs, but finally did.  I understand that we are supposed to post our pictures, so here it is:

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